🚨 BREAKING: Red Sox Acquire Steven Matz, Because Why Not?

Boston trades a promising bat for a 34-year-old lefty with a sinker and a dream. Welcome to Deadline Madness.

Well, well, well. Just when you thought Craig Breslow was going to sit this trade deadline out like a moody teenager at a family reunion, the Red Sox sneak in a late-night deal and grab Steven Matz from the Cardinals. Yes, that Steven Matz. The one who’s been passed around the NL like a bowl of stale pretzels at a winter meeting.

In exchange, Boston ship…