Crochet Gets Torched and the Season Spirals on Repeat
Boston buries itself in the first two innings, Garrett Crochet gets absolutely nuked, and the offense wakes up just in time to make the box score look less embarrassing.
Final Score: Twins 13, Red Sox 6
Let’s not overcomplicate this.
This game was over before you even finished your first beer.
Let’s Get Into It (Or Whatever That Was)
Your Boston Red Sox showed up to Target Field last night and decided—collectively—that defense, pitching, and basic baseball competence were optional.
And leading the charge? Garrett Crochet.
The guy didn’t just have a bad night—he got absolutely dismantled.
1st inning: traffic, runs, and a Trevor Story error gift-wrapped into a 4–0 hole
2nd inning: full-blown catastrophe
Final damage: 11 runs before they could even blink
This wasn’t “he didn’t have his best stuff.”
This was “everything is on fire and no one knows where the extinguisher is.”
The Twins weren’t even doing anything crazy—they were just… hitting. Repeatedly. Comfortably. Like it was batting practice.
And Boston? Standing there like it was optional to respond.
The Second Inning From Hell™
Let’s talk about that second inning.
Because that’s where the game died, got buried, and had a memorial service.
RBI single
Two-run double
Three-run bomb
Another home run for good measure
Just like that… 11–0.
You blink, check your phone, come back—and it’s a football score.
Crochet couldn’t locate, couldn’t finish hitters, and when he did throw something in the zone—it got obliterated.
Flat out: this was one of the worst starts you’ll see all year.
The “Fake Comeback” Special
Now here’s the part that makes this team so frustrating.
They actually showed signs of life.
Jarren Duran launches a 2-run homer
Caleb Durbin chips in with an RBI double
Later, they string together hits in the 6th and 7th to claw back to 13–6
And for about… five minutes… you start thinking:
“Alright… maybe?”
Nope.
Because this team only hits when the game is already gone.
It’s like they need to be down 10 runs before anyone relaxes enough to swing the bat.
Too little. Too late. Every single time.
Trevor Story: Still a Problem
Let’s not ignore this part either.
The throwing error in the first inning didn’t just extend the inning—it opened the floodgates.
That’s what bad teams do:
Miss routine plays
Let innings snowball
Then watch the game spiral out of control
And that’s exactly what happened.
Bright Spots (Yes, Somehow)
If you’re digging for positives—and you have to dig deep:
Duran looked explosive at the plate
The lineup didn’t completely quit (which is apparently a bar now)
Some late offense showed they can hit… just not when it matters
That’s about it.
The Bigger Problem
This isn’t just one bad game.
This is a pattern.
Pitching implodes early
Defense makes it worse
Offense shows up after the damage is done
Rinse. Repeat. Welcome to April.
And here’s the real issue:
You can’t keep spotting teams 5–10 runs and expect anything different.
This isn’t bad luck.
This is bad baseball.
Final Thought
Garrett Crochet didn’t just have a rough outing—he got exposed.
The Red Sox didn’t just lose—they got embarrassed.
And the offense didn’t just wake up—they showed up when it no longer mattered.
That’s how you turn a game into a joke before the third inning.
If you enjoy watching this team dig holes and then politely attempt to climb out with a plastic spoon, congratulations—you’re in the right place.
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