Fenway Goes Quiet as Dodgers Outclass Sox 5-2
Setting the Stage for the Letdown
Friday night at Fenway: 36,000 optimists filed in, Red Sox caps tilted just so, clutching overpriced beers and dreams of wildcard glory. What they got instead? A masterclass in “Here’s how a real team plays,” courtesy of the Los Angeles Dodgers.
While Boston politely flailed their way through nine innings, the Dodgers brought out their All-Star ensemble — Shohei Ohtani, Freddie Freeman, Teoscar Hernández — just in case anyone forgot that the West Coast still knows what baseball is supposed to look like.
Bello Delivers Five Innings of Lukewarm Tap Water
Brayan Bello took the mound and gave us five and a third innings of competent mediocrity: six hits, three earned runs, five strikeouts, and enough sweat to fill the Charles. He wasn’t awful, which is unfortunately the best thing we can say.
He escaped a bases-loaded jam in the third inning, striking out Freeman and Hernández, which momentarily tricked us into thinking momentum was a thing. The ERA nudged up to 3.32, so technically he's still above average. Technically. As in, “if you squint and pretend the Dodgers aren’t in town.”
Boston’s Bats: Featuring One Third-Inning Cameo
Connor Wong ripped a double off the Monster in the third, Jarren Duran added an RBI single, and Alex Bregman made it 3-2 with a little double of his own. Fenway briefly erupted in the kind of celebratory confusion only Boston can muster when trailing by one to a superior team.
Then… nothing. Boston’s offense hit the snooze button and didn’t bother setting another alarm. Emmet Sheehan, channeling his inner Cy Young and his actual Boston College roots, silenced the bats for five innings. The Dodgers bullpen closed the door, drew the curtains, and turned off the porch light.
Teoscar Hernández Sends Sox Fans to Therapy
Eighth inning. Jorge Alcala on the mound. Teoscar Hernández, who up to this point had merely toyed with us, decided to make it official: two-run moonshot to center. Fenway groaned. Teoscar smirked. Alcala pretended gravity was to blame.
It was Hernández’s 15th bomb of the season, and it effectively ended the game — though honestly, the Red Sox ended it themselves the minute they forgot how to hit after inning three.
Bullpen Roulette: Try Not to Land on “Disaster”
Chris Murphy relieved Bello and didn’t set anything on fire, which counts as a win. Jorge Alcala gave up the homer and padded his ERA to 6.05 — a number so high, even airline pilots flinch. Brennan Bernardino finished things off without incident, likely because the Dodgers had already decided they’d done enough damage.
Box Score: AKA the Crime Scene Summary
Duran: 1-for-3, RBI, walk
Bregman: 1-for-4, double that briefly fooled us
Wong: 1-for-3, historic extra-base hit
Story: 1-for-4, also doubled, but nobody noticed
Team: 1-for-9 with RISP, six LOB, eight strikeouts
Rafaela, Anthony, and Abreu: collectively 0-for-9 with enough whiffs to power a wind farm. If you’re looking for productivity, might wanna check the concessions stand.
Trade Deadline: Strategy or Just a Vibe?
While the Dodgers actually traded for talent, Boston chose the “deep sigh and vague optimism” approach. Josh Naylor went to Seattle. Boston said no thanks to a package featuring Dylan Cease and catching phenom Ethan Salas because why improve now when you can panic later?
Ryan O’Hearn is allegedly on the radar, which means first base might eventually feature a player who hasn’t forgotten what hitting looks like. For now, Casas is out, Toro is fading, and the lineup is basically a carousel of underwhelming audition tapes.
Next Up: Crochet vs. Kershaw
Saturday’s showdown features Garrett Crochet, who’s pitching like he wants an extension and a statue, vs. Clayton Kershaw, who’s pitching like he's aging gracefully into baseball mythology. If the Sox want to avoid a weekend sweep, they’ll need more than Bregman doubles and Alcala excuses.
Here’s hoping someone remembers that offense is allowed after the third inning.
Parting Shot
Friday night wasn’t a disaster. It was a performance review. The Red Sox passed the “shows up on time” portion and failed the rest. The Dodgers didn’t just win — they demonstrated what actual team cohesion looks like.
Boston fans left Fenway with a familiar taste in their mouths: overpriced beer and mild despair.
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