Red Sox vs. Astros – Game 5: “Strikeouts, Errors, and a Masterclass in Doing Nothing”

Boston combines zero offense, sloppy defense, and just enough pitching to get embarrassed anyway

Final Score: Astros 9, Red Sox 2

Let’s just get this out of the way early — this wasn’t a baseball game.

This was a slow, painful, three-hour demonstration of how to lose in every possible way.

The Red Sox didn’t just lose to the Astros. They got dissected, exposed, and politely escorted out of Houston like a team that clearly forgot what sport they were p…