Sox Debut a Rookie, Pirates Say “Cool Story, Bro”
Payton Tolle racks up strikeouts, the bats fall asleep, and Tommy Pham & Andrew McCutchen remind us that AARP still swings a mean stick.
Game Recap: The Setup for Disaster
You ever get excited about a new gadget, plug it in, and realize the batteries weren’t included? That’s the 2025 Red Sox offense when a rookie pitcher makes his debut. Payton Tolle came in hyped, mowing down Pirates like he was playing MLB The Show on rookie mode. The kid struck out eight batters in just 5⅓ innings, the most by a Sox rookie debut since Daisuke Matsuzaka. He’s 22, he throws lefty, and for five innings, he made the Pirates look like extras in a Little League instructional video.
So naturally, Boston lost. Because of course they did.
Tolle’s line: 5⅓ IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 8 K. That’s “future rotation piece” material. Instead, it’ll be remembered as the game where Greg Weissert rolled out of the bullpen and immediately auditioned for Pittsburgh’s highlight reel.
Boston actually took a 1–0 lead early when Roman Anthony did what Roman Anthony does: put one in the seats. The rookie has this bad habit of reminding everyone he’s better than half the vets already in the lineup. Then, in the fourth, they added a gift run courtesy of Pirates defense. Ceddanne Rafaela hit a weak grounder that somehow turned into a run because the Pirates played hot potato with the ball. That’s not an RBI, that’s a clerical error.
The Sox were up 2–0, Tolle was cruising, and then the bullpen gate opened. You know the rest.
The Meltdown: Weissert Writes His Résumé in Crayon
In the sixth inning, Alex Cora turned to Greg Weissert, because apparently his hobby is stress-testing Red Sox fans’ arteries. Weissert’s first act? Give up a two-run double to Tommy Pham. Yes, that Tommy Pham. The guy most famous for slapping Joc Pederson over fantasy football. Immediately after, Andrew McCutchen—who should be moonlighting as a first-base coach at this stage of his career—laced another double to put Pittsburgh ahead.
Just like that, it was 3–2. The Pirates tacked on another insurance run, because why not, and Boston’s offense went into witness protection.
You could almost see Cora’s lips mouthing “I’ll explain this later” as Weissert jogged off. Spoiler: there is no explanation.
Player Highlights (With Tosh-Level Sarcasm)
Payton Tolle: “Welcome to the big leagues, kid. You did everything right, but this is Boston. We don’t reward good pitching. We reward chaos.”
Roman Anthony: Two hits and a solo homer. This kid is basically the Wi-Fi signal of the Sox lineup—if he goes down, everything stops working.
Romy González: Three hits, no runs scored. He’s like a guy who buys rounds at the bar, then passes out before finishing his own drink.
Ceddanne Rafaela: One RBI, courtesy of Pittsburgh’s defense tripping over itself. Congrats, you cashed in someone else’s mistake.
Greg Weissert: The relief pitcher equivalent of leaving your car in neutral on a hill.
Quotes & Commentary
Alex Cora after the game: “He battled.” Translation: Look, I left him in as long as I could before the bullpen ruined it, and it still wasn’t long enough.
Pirates manager Derek Shelton: “It was good to see Pham and Cutch come through.” Translation: I can’t believe these two are still on the roster either, but hey, it worked.
Fenway fans: “Payton Tolle is the real deal. Unfortunately, so is Greg Weissert’s ability to ruin a Friday night.”
Opponent Misfires
This is the worst part: the Pirates weren’t even good. They went 0-for-5 with runners in scoring position before Weissert came in and decided to cosplay as batting practice. They stranded runners. They kicked the ball around. And they still won.
Boston basically said, “Here, take this one. We don’t need it. We’re full.”
Red Sox Momentum Check
The Sox are now 75–62, now a 1/2 game behind the Yankees in the Wild Card standings. That’s great on paper—until you realize “momentum” with this team is like a gas station hot dog. It looks fine under the lights, but once you commit, you regret everything.
They came into this series riding a 7–1 road trip and a sweep of the Orioles, and immediately face-planted against the Pirates, a team whose franchise highlight is still Barry Bonds’ mustache. Momentum isn’t real in Boston. It’s a marketing slogan.
Future Outlook
Game 2 tonight at Fenway: Dustin May vs. Johan Oviedo. Translation: Either May throws a gem and Boston wins 7–1, or he’s out by the third inning and we watch another bullpen bonfire while the offense sleeps.
This series should be a sweep for the Sox. But then again, this is the same team that makes bad pitchers look like Cy Young reincarnated. Don’t be shocked if Oviedo strikes out 10 while eating a sandwich.
Final Word
Payton Tolle deserved a better debut than this. Eight strikeouts, one earned run, and still saddled with a “welcome to Boston, kid” loss. The Sox offense took the night off, the bullpen did its best impression of Swiss cheese, and the Pirates walked out of Fenway like they owned the place.
That’s Red Sox baseball: thrilling, disappointing, and stupidly addictive.
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