Twins Get Duran’d: Boston Drops 8 Runs, Minnesota Drops the Ball
Let’s all take a moment to thank the Minnesota Twins for their generous donation to the Red Sox playoff push.
Last night’s 8-5 win at Target Field wasn’t just a victory—it was a masterclass in how to lose a baseball game with flair, confusion, and a sprinkle of fielding errors that would make a Little League coach cry.
Third-Inning Detonation: Ohl No!
Twins rookie Pierson Ohl made his MLB debut and, well, let’s just say he’ll remember it forever—mostly because Trevor Story sent his ERA into orbit. After two scoreless innings that had Twins fans cautiously optimistic, the third inning arrived like a tax audit.
Roman Anthony kicked things off with a single that scored Ceddanne Rafaela.
Alex Bregman doubled, and Anthony scored again thanks to Willi Castro’s impression of a traffic cone in left field.
Then, with two outs and a full count, Story fouled off a couple of pitches before launching a changeup into the Minneapolis stratosphere. 4-0 Sox. Ohl’s ERA ballooned to 12.00, which is great if you’re a wine connoisseur—not so much if you’re a pitcher.
Duran’s Fireworks and Story’s Encore
Jarren Duran, who’s been hotter than a jalapeño in July, added a solo shot in the fifth that Statcast measured at “don’t even bother chasing.” He also doubled, walked, stole a base, and probably filed someone’s taxes while he was at it. The guy’s OPS this month is so high it’s being investigated for insider trading.
Trevor Story wasn’t done either. In the ninth, he doubled in another run, just to remind Minnesota that yes, he’s still here, and yes, he still hates their pitching.
Brooks Lee: The Only Twin Who Showed Up
Minnesota’s Brooks Lee was the lone bright spot in a sea of mediocrity. He drove in all five of the Twins’ runs, including two homers—one in the seventh and one in the ninth. If Lee had cloned himself eight times, maybe the Twins would’ve had a chance. Instead, he was surrounded by a lineup that looked like they were auditioning for a reboot of The Walking Dead: Dugout Edition.
Carlos Correa left the game early due to “lightheadedness,” which is understandable considering the Twins’ defense was enough to make anyone dizzy.
Fielding Follies: A Comedy of Errors
Both teams committed two errors, but Minnesota’s were more… interpretive. Castro and Royce Lewis each botched routine plays, and the Twins’ outfield positioning looked like it was drawn up by a blindfolded raccoon.
Meanwhile, Boston’s Ceddanne Rafaela had a fielding error of his own, but he made up for it with a triple and a sac fly RBI. That’s called balance, folks.
Giolito’s Redemption Arc
Lucas Giolito, fresh off a couple of post-All-Star break meltdowns, returned to form with six innings of one-run ball. He struck out five, walked two, and looked like the guy Boston thought they were getting when they signed him—not the guy who recently gave up more runs than a Vegas buffet gives shrimp.
The bullpen did its job, mostly. Jorge Alcala gave up Lee’s second homer, but Aroldis Chapman came in and struck out Mickey Gasper on three pitches to seal the win. Chapman’s 19th save was so efficient it could’ve been delivered by drone.
📊 Stat Sheet Highlights
Trevor Story: 2-for-5, HR, 2B, 3 RBI
Jarren Duran: 2-for-4, HR, 2B, RBI, SB
Roman Anthony: 1-for-4, RBI
Alex Bregman: 1-for-5, 2B, RBI
Wilyer Abreu: 1-for-4, 2B, RBI
Brooks Lee (Twins): 3-for-4, 2 HR, 5 RBI
🧮 The Bigger Picture
With the win, Boston improves to 58-51 and clings to the second AL Wild Card spot like a cat on a screen door. The Twins, meanwhile, fall to 51-56 and continue their slow descent into “maybe next year” territory.
Manager Alex Cora’s lineup shuffle—is getting me as nauseated as a flight to the Twin Cities.
🗣️ Final Thoughts
If you’re a Twins fan, last night was a reminder that baseball is a cruel sport. If you’re a Red Sox fan, it was a reminder that sometimes the other team will gift-wrap a win and throw in free shipping.
And if you’re Jarren Duran? You’re probably wondering why Minnesota keeps pitching to you.
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